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Wednesday. 3.24.10 7:50 am
*sigh* Not good times.

I've been really irritable lately, and this worries me because I haven't been mad in a really long time. EXAMPLE: someone just dialed a number in their phone with the dial tone volume all the way up. Normally I wouldn't mind, but that just pissed me off...ugh what is happening.

I feel like I've lost faith in the goodness of life, that crazy feeling I started feeling a while back. I just started thinking about how much unhappiness there is in the world...and how my jubilant experience seems so naive in the grand scheme of things. Is it the way of the world or our man-made society that creates so much shit?

If I've learned anything from college, it's that there's a lot of people who are better than me at a lot of things. Smarter people, better pianists, deeper thinkers...that's the only thing I've learned. Everything else -- all the hours of course content -- I could've found through a Google search. What a pathetic waste.

So I'm feeling a little bit low right now. I think this emo stint stems from the fact that I'm exhausted and I deeply desire to sit down and do nothing for a while...except for I can't, because life never stops. I'm on spring break but it hasn't felt like much of one...who would've thought I'd be less than enthused for a "vacation" to California.

I even want to stop jump roping for a while. Yup, it's that bad...

I've just been fighting an invisible struggle for a very long time, and I'm tired of doing it alone.

Muffy over and out
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Do not try to bend the spoon. That's impossible. Instead, try to realize the truth. There is no spoon. Then you will see that it is not the spoon that bends, it is only yourself.
6 Comments.


Stop JUMP-ROPING!?!? WHAAaaat?
Some people in my department had a discussion earlier where we were talking about whether or not you really needed to have a university or if everyone could just take classes online. We eventually decided that the real benefit of a physical university is to expose people to other people: mostly other students, who are smarter, deeper, funnier, and way different than you are with all kinds of different opinions and ways of thinking. After all, you can only really improve if you work with people who are better than you, eh? Plus, I think you'll find that the better you get to know people, you'll see that you have a lot of skills that they don't have, too.

I've been meaning to tell you that I was inspired by your jump-roping posts, so I started jump-roping again after some 15 years... I just drove all over town looking for some double-dutch-length ropes... now I have some and my friend and I are going to start practicing. It's really fun, and a great workout! :D So don't stop jump-roping. :) This too shall pass.
» Zanzibar on 2010-03-24 11:45:56

I agree with Zanz in that your recent posts were inspiring and passionate. And they made me want to get more involved with the stuff I was passionate about.
I think you're right when you say you need a break from things but that shouldn't include jump roping.

If you're into it, read a new book. Or find more time to just sit outside and enjoy the nice weather (depending on your location) as spring starts kicking into gear.
Its times like these where even if you can't stop life and you can't stop time, you can slow it down....at least a little.
» SporadicFunk on 2010-03-24 01:51:28

Just read this "quote of the day"
"No man needs a vacation so much as the man who has just had one."
- Elbert Hubbard

I would suggest slowing it down a little, but I wouldn't stop or drop out of anything. The semester's just about halfway over. The weather's getting nicer. There is hope!

And yeah, the world might not be that awesome, but I like to try to be someone who doesn't dwell on the world's awful cruelties but on its good things: the people, love and hope that surround us every day.
"If you look for the bad in people expecting to find it, you surely will.” (Abraham Lincoln)
(I got that quote from the old Disney movie Pollyanna)
» invisible on 2010-03-24 02:17:43

You can probably guess what I'm itching to tell you.
» middaymoon on 2010-03-24 06:09:58

I think it's just your major fatigue that's getting you down!
Whatever it may be, just keep in mind that the rut that you're in currently is just temporary ^__^ and the happy moments will definitely outnumber the awful/depressing/vexing/seemingly hopeless/dreary instances ...

Before you even realize it, I'm sure you'll feel like yourself again. And that invisible struggle will be won! You'll triumph over it all!
» Mockiller on 2010-03-25 03:17:43

Muffy!!! Take deep breaths, clear your calender and just drop off the grid. Take a walk in the park or just lock yourself in your room and stare at the tiny holes on the ceiling. I wish I can give you a hug right now but it's physically impossible.
» Nuttz on 2010-03-25 07:44:58

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