I haven't been here in a while...
In fact, I've gotten so unskilful at Nutang that I accidentally posted a completely blank entry just now. Woops.

Life's been ok lately. I remember the days when I was bouncing off the walls happy but now I think the real world has sobered me a bit...not that I like it. I hate it actually. I feel like something's missing...but I don't really know what it is.

I've found that over the past few months I've kinda turned into an asshole. I should say I'm not openly rude to people's faces, but I've gotten all judgmental and critical lately...and I don't know why. I think it's because I've stopped caring what other people think about me, and in the social setting when you don't care about what someone thinks, that's just rude. So here I am, rude Muffy.

So I'm trying to change my ways and go back to the old me (but still retain some of my newfound confidence and aggressive tactics because, honestly, it helps you get things done in life).

Actually, as I sit here and think about the matter, I've decided that I'm pretty much experiencing this apathy about my entire life. I'd be sad, if I cared enough to be sad . I feel kinda like an inanimate object.

Anyways, I'm working on it.

PS.
Oooh I see Nutang now has a fancy schmancy Facebook-esque chat bar...me likey

I was the same way
and I'm still in high school. Once you do something really nice, it can make you want to do more nice things, with the way it feels to do so.
» Unicornasaurus on 2009-01-21 08:21:37

I get bitchier every year. I think it has something to do with my elitism problem, hahaha! It used to bother me a little, but then I turned more and more asshole-ish and stopped caring. Oh-fucking-well.
» ranor on 2009-01-21 08:30:59

i'm like ranor too: i get bitchier every year. could be due to my tiredness of tolerating idiot people around me.
» renaye on 2009-01-21 08:47:28

Good luck with that.
I've been there, and it's actually quite relieving to get out.
» middaymoon on 2009-01-21 09:25:42

If this is a phase, you might try learning something from it. Sounds stupid but it can be a good idea. :P
» randomjunk on 2009-01-21 09:58:33

yeah, over the years as reality set in I've found myself not being as nice. I'm still pretty laid back and I've always been stubbornly impatient, but back in high school I'd sort of let people take advantage. almost 5 years later and I've changed quite a bit

the real world bites ... but there are some awesome parts too
» LostSoul13 on 2009-01-21 10:26:50

You're back just in time for CNY!!!

Heck! I've turned into a rude, very much disliked Nuttz back in high school. Though I've toned it down a bit now, I can still be as bitchy and whiny as I can be.

Happy CNY, Muffy. Glad to have you back!
» Nuttz on 2009-01-22 06:54:25

Once I stood on the edge of that spiral. Sometimes I find myself there again, looking down into the deep negativity spiral, but I always pull myself back. Make someone a cake, give someone a random present, something like that. Live in the Eternal Now, your temper unaffected by the irritating short-comings of others. Very zen. An attitude of gratitude towards life and everything in it. I think most people just don't keep tabs on what kind of person they are becoming. Clearly you do, so that's already the mark of a good person.
» Zanzibar on 2009-01-22 11:51:05

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